Gender-Based Violence is a profound
and widespread problem in South Africa. GBV disproportionally affects women as
a result of a system deeply entrenched in cultures and traditions that see
women as possessions. I believe societies free of GBV do not exist, however, our
country is at the leader board of something very dehumanizing to women. When we
speak of GBV, our minds quickly run to physical abuse because it is the most
visible and prominent form of abuse. However, it is usually accompanied by
other forms of abuse that we will be looking at in this blog post.
These are the 4 most common types of
abuses:
· PHYSICAL ABUSE
Any act which causes bodily harm as a result of unlawful
physical force. Physical force can be serious or minor assault which may result
in manslaughter or murder as we have seen in many GBV cases in our country.
· Sexual Abuse
Any sexual act performed
on an individual without their consent. Sexual abuse can take the form of rape
(forced penetration) or sexual assault (intentionally sexually touching another
person without their consent). Rape can be performed very violently where the
victim can tell they are being raped or in a very subtle manner through
coercion and they later realise it was infact rape. The same applies with sexual
assault, a teacher might have touched you inappropriately in high school and
you felt uncomfortable but wasn’t educated enough to realise it and now reading
this blog post, it all comes back.
· Psychological Abuse
Any act which harms the mental and emotional
state of an individual which includes but not limited to frightening, controlling,
conditioning, coercion, defamation, verbal insult, harassment etc. It is the abusers
words that largely contribute to this type of abuse.
· Economic Abuse
Any act or behaviour which causes
economic harm to an individual. This is when one intimate partner has full
control over the other partners access to economic resources, which limits the
victims capacity to support themselves and forces them to depend on the abuser
financially. This is the harsh reality of many South African women who feel
trapped in abusive relationships because of money and being fully dependent on
the abuser for basic needs such as a roof over their heads, food, clothes,
travelling expenses etc.
If you read carefully and have heard
stories of GBV you would have realised that these types of abuses are
intertwined and at most times are not mutually exclusive. It is almost
impossible for someone to be a victims of physical abuse without experiencing
psychological abuse as abusers usually revert to psychological abuse to
condition victims and making sure they stay in these abusive relationships. It
is important for us to understand that no form of abuse is better than the
other, there is no lesser evil. No woman should be made to feel as though their
trauma is invalid or isn’t as bad. Trauma affects us differently and we should
ALWAYS converse from a place of empathy and as I always; GUARD OUR PRIVILEDGE because
what we converse about are other people’s realities.
I have always heard of how nonchalant
and abrasive police officers are towards women laying GBV charges but I finally
saw it whilst watching Checkpoint on Tuesday night. I long for a South Africa
where women are not ridiculed by unprofessional police officers when laying
charges. A South Africa where GBV cases take priority and these perpetrators
are removed from society. A South Africa where women do not have to keep
reliving a traumatic experience by having to retell their trauma to every Tom,
Dick & Harry of a police officer and get interrogated for mistakenly saying
their under was red when in their first statement they had said it was maroon. Victims
of abuse need to feel that the police station is a safe haven for them, a place
where they will be met with an immeasurable amount of empathy and professionalism.
These conversations are important but
they need to prompt us to take action. Here are 3 things we can do to help end
GBV and help women realise their full potential.
1. Educate yourself and others about GBV
The most effective to prevent GBV is
education. Educate yourself and your friends what GBV is, how it happens, and
how to prevent it. Read and share blogs like these with family and friends.
2. Use your voice on social to bring awareness
to
GBV
Use your social media to interact
with people who fight for the same cause as you. Use your platform to call for
an end to GBV. Join the #16DaysofActivism conversation starting from the 25th
of November (The international day for the elimination of Violence of women)
till the 10th of December. Remember, your activism and advocacy
should not be limited to the 16 days. Activism & Advocacy is an on-going
process of dismantling and disrupting the status quo until there is a positive
change.
3. Help a victim of GBV or help out at
an organisation that works with victims
If you know someone in need of help
after getting out of an abusive relationship or trying to get out of one, do your
best to be of help to them. Show them support and affirm their decision of
leaving. Find an organisation close to you where you can volunteer or donate
to.
If you or someone you know is
suffering from abuse, please don’t hesitate to contact POWA (People Opposing
Women Abuse) on 011 642 434. They also have a lockdown counsellor available
telephonically from 08:30 – 16:30 Monday- Sunday. For more information, please
visit their site: https://www.powa.co.za/POWA/
As usual, please feel free to comment
down below on how you have received this blog post, the one thing you have taken
from it and how you are going to make an impact by advocating against GBV and
put an end to this bitter reality. If you haven’t, please subscribe using your
email address to receive a notification every time I release a new blog post.
Continue sharing blog information with your friends and family and let us grow
our family because there is a new table in town and everyone has a seat with
their name on it.
Love,
A Determined Black Woman
GBV is a pandemic on its own in our country. And reading this blog reminds me of a conversation in #TSA this morning with the incident of the TV personality and how people are just referring to cheating only but not actually to the GBV that was mentioned on the video. It just shows how our people are not much educated with these types of abuses, so having to have read this blog actually educates me more on these different abuses that are out there mara just because they do not show any physical harm we think less of them kodwa they are doing their own damage also on abantu.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I could give to my little sister to read kuba as she is a 13 year old young girl, she will meet up with such in her life and educating her while she is still young will assist in her knowing what to do, when and how to get help.
Thank you Sunflower
God bless you starting platform. At 23 years old, I didn't know more than 50% of these things. Enkosi. I am definitely gonna be more involved in these matters on Social media and educate my family.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best and most informative piece I have EVER read on GBV. It’s really fascinating how you have put together all this information into one captivating and powerful piece . Again, thank you for pouring out your heart into this post with so much empathy. My favourite line, “ no form of abuse is better than the other,there is no lesser evil”. I will be using the second point to use my voice more because we need to familiarize everyone in our circles with these conversations.
ReplyDelete@Sonwabise, I posted the other day that "It is my duty to teach the next generation what I learnt late, EARLY. Please do let Sisonke read this, I am sure she will take something from it too.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much❤
@Buhle, Thank you so much. I really appreciate it when the work I put in showcases itself, it affirms to me that I am on the right path. Let us all do what we can with the little or alot that we have to make a difference amd in that way, I would have succeeded in my job; getting you to make an impact.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I too am grateful to God for aligning me with my purpose so early in my life. Let us all do our part to end this bitter reality✊🏾.
ReplyDeleteGets me each and every time how once again IT IS US who must protect OURSELVES against these vultures because our society and leaders (who are abusers themselves) are so protective over the male gender and toxic masculinity. Patriarchy yobubhanxa! A young lady told her story of how when she was getting raped she pleaded with her rapist to use a condom because she was HIV+, she did that not to protect him but his other victims. Haysuka maaan yazi!!!! Enkosi mntase for the thoughtful and highly informative piece. Love and light.
ReplyDelete@ Babalwa, it's infuriating. No-one wants to do ANYTHING for us. More & more women are becoming hashtags by the day. We are in hell.
ReplyDeleteI really feel that all the work and time you've taken writing all these empowering blog posts is extremely phonomenal so thank you so much . ❤️
ReplyDeleteMuch appreciated Mpho❤. I do it with love.
ReplyDelete