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Consent

 

I spend most of my time on social media. I just find the space very informative and easy to engage with open mined strangers. Sometimes it can be toxic, that is when I know I have overstayed my welcome. So, the other day a Twitter user posed the question, “What is the theme for this December?” @Tumi213 replied and said “Consent, okwe consent madoda.” His response was striking to me because consent is a concept I have wanted to dissect, understand thoroughly and share it with my readers. It was also interesting to me how he managed to change the conversation from something light-hearted as a December theme to something as serious as consent. Consent is something we as a society have little regard for and take lightly. This is visible in the number of rapes that take place in our country. According to the South African Police Service, a woman is raped every 36 seconds.

 

Sexual Consent means actively agreeing to engage in sexual activities with someone and lets them know sex is wanted. Consent should be clearly and freely communicated. Consent expressed verbally helps both parties understand and therefore respect each other’s boundaries. Sexual activity without consent is rape or sexual assault. It is important to understand that one has the right to withdraw consent at any given time should they not wish to continue with the activity. Withdrawing consent can sometimes be challenging as one would feel that ‘I already agreed so I should stick it out.’ No-one should have to stick it out should they not want to. It is your body; you have control over it-no-one else.

 

When is a person not able to consent?

  •       Underage – Anyone under the age of 17 is considered a minor.
  •         Asleep or Unconscious.
  •    Drunk or Drugged – In this case they are not able to make informed decisions for themselves.
  •       Pressured or Coerced – In this case they have been put under pressure /  forced to ‘agree’ to something they are not comfortable with.

 

Consent is a simple concept that we all need to familiarize ourselves with. Luckily, we live in a world with an abundance of information at our fingertips. We are not the generation to mess with thus we will do anything in our power to empower ourselves so that we feel protected. If you feel like you were somehow put in a position where your “no” was not honoured and feel violated. Do not hesitate, report that to the authorities and seek psychological help as soon as possible.

 

As usual, please feel free to comment down below on what you have taken away from this blog post. Please be sure to share it with all your counterparts; young, old, male, female & gender- nonconforming. Tell everyone there is a new table in town and everyone has a seat with their name on it.

Love,

A Determined Black Woman












Comments

  1. A Determined Black WomanNovember 12, 2020 at 5:09 PM

    Thank you Rato <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. A Determined Black WomanNovember 12, 2020 at 6:42 PM

    My pleasure Momma❤❤

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnathiNovember 12, 2020 at 6:55 PM

    Thank you so much for this. My siblings have to read this. The knowledge you share is highly needed.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownNovember 12, 2020 at 7:44 PM

    Beautiful Rato...this is definitely a big thing in our society. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  5. A Determined Black WomanNovember 12, 2020 at 8:21 PM

    Ndiyabulela Unathi. My duty is to teach the younger generation what I learnt late, early.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A Determined Black WomanNovember 12, 2020 at 8:22 PM

    @Unknown, thank you. I'm glad you found it useful.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownNovember 14, 2020 at 7:01 PM

    Thank you so much ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  8. A Determined Black WomanNovember 19, 2020 at 2:34 AM

    It is my pleasure❤❤

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sonwabise SifoFebruary 7, 2021 at 10:44 PM

    I totally agree with Unathi. As I always say that as much as it is important for me to read this, it is as important to make my little sister read it too. Living in this world izinto ezinje nge Consent azihoywa umntu uyathatha as if bane lungelo and umenziwa because akanalwazi athule thinking yinto eNormal.
    Yinto yokushunyayelwa oko especially kwaba ncinci.

    Thank you Rato

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownFebruary 17, 2021 at 10:11 PM

    Thank you Ncu❤

    ReplyDelete
  11. A Determined Black WomanFebruary 18, 2021 at 2:52 PM

    @Sonwabise Sifo this platform is for exactly that. A space where we speak about things our parents are too scared of speaking about. Our siblings deserve better.

    ReplyDelete
  12. A Determined Black WomanFebruary 18, 2021 at 2:52 PM

    Thank you for reading Lorna❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete

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